mspurlin's Blog

In recent years the Athletic dominance of the United States has slipped a bit.  We no longer send a baseball team to the Olympics.  And we lost our most dominant sport after that American Hater Tim Duncan helped throw the basketball competition in Athens.

(On a side note, does anybody else think it is fishy that Duncan led the team that lost to the team that won, which was lead by his own teammate Manu Ginobli.  If ever there was proof that Duncan was a Benidict Arnold Treasonous Mother F-ER, this is it.)

Personally I blame this on the Soviet Union.  Once they went under, we didn't have a true sports enemy.  If Al Queda doesn't field an olympic team, who is Rocky Balboa supposed to fight in the movies to get us pumped up?

But It is the fourth of July, which means the hot dog eating contest is going on up on the east coast.  If ever there is a sport that we should dominate, it is this one.  Almost every American is too fat, from eating too much.

Only for the past decade, the sport has been dominated by Takeru Kobayashi, the Michael Jordan of competitive eating.  Kobayashi is of course, from Japan.  So the signature eating competition of the most American food there is,the hot dog, wasn't even won by an American.  Oh how far we have fallen in the world of sports!

Now I can admire Kobayashi's dedication, he is truly a warrior of eating.  He trains like an athlete. But he is dominating OUR sport and he truly doesn't respect  America. 

I mean, after all these years, he still doesn't even know English.  I mean, if Sammy Sosa can learn it, then Kobayashi can at least give it a chance.


So thank goodness joey chestnut came along and restored some of the American Glory.  Cuz if there is a sport that rewards overconsumption and gluttony, America better damn well be number one at it.

So three cheers for one of the great American sports heroes left, Joey Chestnut.